Here’s a riddle for you: I can be sharp or smooth, soothing or cruel. I can lift someone up or bring them to ruin. Though you can't see me, I leave a lasting mark. What am I?
The answer? Your words.
God knew we’d need wise direction with the way we use our words, which is why he gave us so much wisdom in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that “the tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”
So how can we make sure our words have positive consequences?
3 things to think about before you speak
Our words carry a great deal of power – often more than we realize. And when we’re careless with our words, it can cause lasting damage to others. Here are three things to think about before speaking to make sure your words build up and give life:
1. The thoughts behind your words
“From a wise mind comes wise speech.” Proverbs 16:23
Have you ever heard someone make excuses for hurtful words by claiming they “don’t have a filter?” (Have you ever made that excuse yourself?)
When it all boils down, our words are an outward expression of our thoughts. If our thoughts are helpful and encouraging, our words will be, too. But if our thoughts are toxic, that will contaminate our words.
The wise thing to do is simple: think with your mouth closed. Realizing that not every thought needs to be spoken out loud the very moment you have it can save you a lot of apologies and damaged relationships later.
2. The tone behind your words
“Patience can persuade a prince and soft speech can break bones.” Proverbs 25:15
The literal words we say can make an impact, but the tone we use is equally powerful. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a sarcastic remark, you know this. The right thing said in the wrong tone makes it the wrong thing.
In this verse from Proverbs, the metaphor of breaking bones isn’t used to describe inflicting pain – the imagery was more akin to breaking down a wall. After all, human bones are incredibly strong, and it takes a lot of force to crack one. The idea here is that when our words are actually stronger and more effective when we’re mindful of our tone.
3. The timing of your words
“Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket.” Proverbs 25:11
Just like the right thing said in the wrong tone becomes the wrong thing, the right thing said at the wrong time is the wrong thing. Before you speak, read the room: is it the right moment to share what’s on your mind? Is there something your spouse or your kids need to hear before you say what you want to say?
You don’t always need to think before you speak
Believe it or not, there are situations where you don’t have to choose your words carefully. Positive, encouraging words require no filter. You can be impulsive and indiscriminate with life-giving words! In short, if you think it and it’s encouraging, say it. You can never speak too much positivity into someone else’s life.
-----
The book of Proverbs contains lots of wisdom for how we use our words, but that’s just a fraction of what we can find! Check out 47 great verses from Proverbs that will help you be wiser in all areas of life.
-----
LCBC stands for Lives Changed By Christ. We are one church in multiple locations across Pennsylvania. Find the location closest to you or join us for Church Online. We can’t wait to connect with you!