Let’s be honest, marriage is hard! Hollywood and social media paint an unrealistic picture of marriage. We often find ourselves wondering how every other couple seems to have it together. To make matters worse, there are so many expectations society places on marriage that are simply unrealistic. You’ve probably heard a few of them:
- "Love means never having to say you're sorry."
- "You shouldn't have to work at marriage."
- "Personal happiness is more important than staying in a loveless marriage."
- "Arguing always destroys a relationship. You should never argue in a marriage."
- "All problems can be solved in a marriage."
- "Your partner should always 'get you.' You should be able to finish each other's sentences. Your partner is your soulmate."
It’s all too easy to enter into a marriage believing one or more of these myths to be true, leading us to grow discouraged about our relationship with our spouse. From there, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing you’re simply incompatible. While there may be very real changes that must be made in your marriage, it’s also true that healthy marriages require intentional effort.
But what happens if we try, try, and try again and don’t seem to be getting anywhere with each other? It may be beneficial to seek counseling from a professional who can provide an unbiased perspective. They may be able to equip you with tools and skills to help you and your spouse get back into the Christ-centered relationship that God initially designed for marriage.
Here are some of the reasons why you may want to consider seeking faith-based counseling for your marriage:
Christian counselors are more likely to share your values on marriage. They’ll have a more thorough understanding of God’s design for a husband and wife and the sanctity of marriage.As a fellow Christian, they will recognize God as the highest authority and base their approach on the guidelines and principals found in the Bible.They can help you connect with your spouse on a spiritual level by placing more emphasis on prayer than other counselors might.Because forgiveness is of such high value in the Christian faith (Ephesians 4:32), a Christian counselor will challenge you and your spouse to a higher level of forgiveness with each other.A Christian counselor will help you remember that your spouse is a loved son or daughter of God. They will encourage you to communicate with 1 Corinthians 13:4-8as a guideline “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.”
Bible Reading Plans
In understanding God’s design for marriage, it’s helpful to learn from him directly through the Bible. Here are some reading plans that will help you work through the issues in your marriage with a biblical approach:
Marriage That Works
Pursuing Christ Through Your Marriage
What is Christian Marriage?
Traffic Signs and Your Marriage
Us In Mindby Ted Lowe
Loveologyby John Mark Comer
The 5 Love Languages assessment and book by Dr. James Dobson
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