God created us to live in community with others. Good communication is a critical aspect of navigating life with other people. And whether you’re sitting down for a crucial conversation, preparing a speech, or just want to make sure you get your point across, the way you communicate with others matters.
So what can you do today to be a better communicator? In this article, we’ll explore several skills that you can put into practice right away to help.
What makes effective communication?
One great definition of effective communication is given by Milan Kordestani, author of the book I’m Just Saying: A Guide to Maintaining Civil Discourse in an Increasingly Divided World.
“Effective communication is defined by individuals intentionally using conversation as a mechanism to find common ground with the person they’re speaking with. It’s a harmonious intersection of reflection, controlled tone, active listening, clear intention, and trust.”
Common ground is a great way of expressing the goal of effective communication: mutual understanding. For communication to be effective or successful, it should create mutual understanding—whether you’re sharing thoughts, opinions, feelings, or information.
In that light, here are five things you can do to become a better communicator:
1. Speak with Clarity and Purpose
A casual conversation is one thing. But when you have a specific goal in mind or something important to share, being clear and concise will lead to better understanding. Here’s how to become a clearer communicator:
- Organize your thoughts by writing them down. Try talking through them with a friend to practice sharing them.
- Word choice matters. Try to avoid using jargon or slang words that could be confusing. It’s also wise to avoid using emotionally-charged words or making assumptions. Remember, the goal is mutual understanding—your word choice is one of your biggest tools!
- Don’t rush. Take a moment to think before responding to what the other person says. You don’t want to accidentally say something that isn’t helpful. (Remember the wisdom from James 1:19-20: be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”)
2. Be mindful of non-verbal cues
You can say a lot without using your voice. Intentionally or unintentionally, our bodies can communicate certain things, too. Your facial expressions, posture, tone of voice, and eye contact can enhance your message—or accidentally confuse it.
So being aware of the way you’re sitting, your own facial expressions, and eye contact. These are all critical to making sure your message is well-received. And it’s just as important to pay attention to the other person’s non-verbal cues, too. They can reveal a lot about how your message is being taken.
3. Practice empathy and emotional awareness
We may not be able to control other peoples’ feelings, but we can be aware of them and show empathy and compassion. That can go a long way toward keeping conversations open, establishing trust, and understanding one another’s views.
The Cambridge Dictionary defines empathy as being ”the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation.” So being empathetic, you can put yourself in someone else’s shoes to help you better understand their perspective. As The Apostle Paul said in his letter to the church in Philippi, “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too” (Philippians 2:4).
4. Avoid interrupting or jumping to conclusions
Too often, we listen to respond instead of listening to understand. When we do this, it’s tempting to cut in with something we really want to say—even something that we think could be helpful! But interrupting like this can do more harm than good, even when our intentions are pure.
Let the person you’re talking to finish their thoughts. It shows respect—both for them and what they’re sharing. It also allows you to hear them out fully before deciding your response. Jumping to a conclusion is like finishing someone’s thought for them, when your conclusion might not at all be what theirs was going to be!
5. Ask open-ended questions
When you are trying hard to get your point across, or when you’re striving to make sure you understand theirs, asking questions is helpful. But the questions are more helpful if they lead to more than a yes or no in response.
Open-ended questions give someone the opportunity to provide more information or to clarify their thoughts. For example, instead of asking,”Did that make you feel bad?” you can ask, “How did that experience make you feel?” Or instead of, “Can I do anything for you?” Ask, “How can I best support you?”
Effective Communication Makes Life Better
The skills you need to improve communication will positively impact your life. Better communication leads to better relationships, fostering understanding, resolving conflict, and building trust. Improving communication takes intentionality and practice. Challenge yourself to implement one or two things today to start making your conversations better.
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Dive deeper into your communication habits with this 5-day Bible Reading Plan that dives into how our words can be used to build up or tear down.
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