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How to Talk to Your High Schooler About Deconstructing Their Faith

As parents, you have the important role of supporting your child as they go through the process of examining their faith.

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The term Deconstruction when it comes to faith simply means to examine your faith from the outside or question and wrestle with what you’ve been taught in order to determine what you truly believe instead of just believing what’s been passed down to you. High School is a time when students want to solidify who they are, what they believe in, and how they’ll interact with the world as an adult. Late teens and early twenties are the years when people start to question what they’ve been brought up to think or believe, and then decide for themselves what their personal belief system and worldview look like. 

Deconstruction has become a popular term for students and young adults - and it’s also becoming trendy to walk away from faith as people expose trauma, hurt, abuse, and other painful experiences caused by members of the Church. People who go through this process of deconstruction often use terms like “Ex-vangelical” to describe their experience of walking away from faith. But the good news about deconstruction is that it isn’t bad - in fact, it’s healthy for people to question the values that were passed down to them so that they can build and solidify their own belief system and worldview. It’s with this in mind that deconstructing can actually be a beneficial experience for students to go through right now, in a safe environment surrounded by strong followers of Jesus who can point their questions back to Biblical truth and provide wisdom. In High School Ministry at LCBC, we’re excited for students to ask hard questions and get real answers, and end up feeling even closer to Jesus than they were before they started deconstructing. As parents, you have the important role of supporting your child as they go through this process. Here are some questions that might be helpful to get the conversation started with your student: 

  • How would you describe your faith to someone else?
  • What are things that you question about God, faith, or Christianity in general?
  • What have you heard other people say about faith?
  • What do people around you believe?
  • What parts of the Bible don’t make sense to you?
  • How comfortable do you feel sharing your story with someone else?

This topic will be sure to bring up hard questions, but that’s where we start to see the faith of students really grow. We’re expectant of all that God will do through tough conversations, self-reflection, and reconstruction of faith! 

If you’d like to learn more about deconstruction or talk to someone about you or your student’s situation, you can get in touch with us - we’d love to talk to you more about this subject.

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