Ongoing conflicts around the world—along with a steady stream of disturbing images and intense commentary—can easily send us into a mental spiral of anxiety, anger, and confusion. What’s even harder is figuring out how to explain what’s happening to your kids when you're still grappling with it yourself.
The kids are observant. They're likely taking bits and pieces of what they’ve heard, overheard, or seen and forming their own mental pictures and conclusions about current events. So how do we talk to our kids about war?
Here are two places to start.
How to Talk to Kids About War
Be Present
The best thing you can do as a parent, caregiver, or trusted adult is be truly present in the middle of uncertainty. Don't shy away from conversations about war and global conflict. Engaging offers a safe, calm, open space for kids to express their emotions and questions—whatever that looks like for them.
Listen
Kids often focus on different details than adults—and those details may surprise you. Avoid assumptions. The younger the child, the more room there is for misinterpretation. As you listen to their questions, it's important to demonstrate active listening—show them you're making an effort to understand by asking clarifying questions.
Helpful questions include:
- “What do you think about what’s happening?”
- “How does that make you feel?”
- “What questions do you have?”
- “What are you hearing from friends or at school?”
- “Where do you see helpers?”
- “How have people made it through hard things before?”
Events like war can also spark discourse and dialogue about people groups and nationalities—leaving kids vulnerable to develop harmful views. If your child is expressing anger or prejudice toward a group or nation, gently invite them to consider their perspective:
- “Do you think everyone feels the same way as you?”
- “Are there people who might also need compassion and prayer?”
If your child's fear escalates into worst-case scenarios, respond with curiosity:
- “What does that mean to you?”
- “What are you most afraid might happen?”
Remind Them What's True
Helping your student know what to focus on as they navigate conversations about war can go a long way in preventing them from becoming fixated or stuck in hopelessness and fear—something media coverage often amplifies.
Two of the best antidotes to fear are facts and hope.
Facts:
- God is bigger than anything and he is in control.
- Your kids always have your love and support.
- The media isn't designed to calm our worries. Be mindful of what's being consumed and how often.
Hope:
- Like Fred Rogers said, “If you look for the helpers, you’ll know that there’s hope.” Identify as many helpers as you can in the current conflict.
- Hope is found when we talk to God and read his Word.
- Help your child identify what they're feeling and how to process it.
While we can't ignore uncertainty in the world, we can be deliberate about helping kids look at things in the context of the hope we have as followers of Jesus. Whatever we pay the most attention to—wherever the volume is turned up the loudest—is what will shape our focus. We must choose to fix our eyes on God, even when fear and uncertainty feel overwhelming.
Move... Literally
Some kids have an easier time opening up when they’re moving their body or doing something with their hands. Try talking while driving, going for a walk, or doing an activity together.
Younger kids can unlock and process emotions through play with brief verbal interaction, while older kids tend to process verbally as they try to understand, rationalize, and form opinions.
Conversation starters and activities:
- Show your child a feelings chart and have them point to the emotion that fits the day.
- Act out emotions and talk about healthy ways to express them.
- Come up with a simple, non-verbal check-in cue. (Red/yellow/green, thumbs up/down, emoji faces).
- Try drawing, writing, or learning about different cultures affected by conflict.
Limit Screen Time
The internet and social media can be a source of community and connection—but it can also flood our feeds with images, videos, and commentary we don't need to be taking in 24/7. We need space to breathe and step away from the constant messaging, and helping your child set tech boundaries can be a huge aid to their mental health.
(As an adult, don't forget to set tech boundaries for your own devices, too!)
Act
Action helps kids move from feeling powerless to focusing on what they can control: their choices and responses.
Ways to take action:
- Pray together for people affected by war, leaders, helpers, and families on all sides.
- Create a prayer list focused on specific needs and take time each day to pray through it.
- Give or serve through trusted organizations like Samaritan’s Purse, which provides humanitarian aid and disaster relief around the world.
Even small acts can help kids experience hope in the middle of uncertainty.
Don't Try to Handle It Alone
Nothing prepares you for handling global conflict as a parent. Remember there are professionals who are trained to lend a hand, a listening ear, or a word of advice when you're batting out of your league. Don’t hesitate to contact a school counselor or a mental health counselor in your community if you feel like your student is having difficulty processing their emotions. (If you need help finding a counselor near you let us know—we can help!)
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