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Why Conflict Aversion is Hurting Your Relationships

Avoiding conflict may seem like a good idea, but conflict aversion can actually harm our relationships.

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Conflicts are a normal part of life, and they happen in our relationships too. Whether it's with our family, friends, or loved ones, avoiding conflicts might seem like a good idea, but it can actually harm our relationships. Let's explore why conflict aversion can be bad for our relationships. 

Why conflict aversion is hurting your relationships 

Avoiding conflicts might seem like a good idea, especially in the Christian faith, where we hear verses like “blessed are the peacemakers.” But conflict aversion can actually harm our relationships in different ways. From bottled-up emotions, resentment, and misunderstandings, the costs of avoiding conflicts are significant. 

Emotions stay bottled up 

Sometimes, we avoid conflicts because we don't want to hurt someone's feelings or make them upset. But when we keep our feelings inside, they can build up – which leads to resentment. 

The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26-27, "Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil." It's important to deal with our feelings and problems instead of letting them fester. 

You burst 

Avoiding conflicts often means we're not talking openly with each other. When we keep things bottled up long enough, eventually we burst. The Bible warns us in Proverbs 13:3 that "opening your mouth can ruin everything." Our words matter, and the stakes are high with the people we care most about! 

Talking about our issues earlier – before we get too frustrated – gives us a better shot at communicating in a healthy way. It's better to speak honestly and with love, as mentioned in Ephesians 4:15

You stop growing together 

Avoiding conflicts might seem like a relief, but it doesn't solve the real problems. Conflicts, when handled with love and humility, can help us grow and understand each other better. When we ignore conflicts, they tend to get worse, making it even harder to fix them later. 

Proverbs 27:17 tells us that "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." In relationships, this means that working through differences can make our bonds stronger. So avoiding conflicts can actually stop us from growing together. 

Problems don’t get solved 

The Bible encourages us to be peacemakers and seek reconciliation with others. Matthew 5:9 says, "God blesses those who work for peace." Avoiding conflicts might seem peaceful, but it often stops us from making things right with each other. 

Conflict allows people to express their feelings, seek forgiveness, and show grace to one another – and ultimately resolve the problem at hand.  

Conflict aversion denies us opportunities for growth and healing. Instead of avoiding conflict, addressing it can lead to stronger and more fulfilling relationships. By navigating conflicts with loyalty, kindness, and God's guidance, we can cultivate healthier and more meaningful relationships. 


Relationships are an important part of life, and we want to help you navigate them well! Here are some resources that can help you have stronger, more encouraging relationships with the important people in your life: 

How Should Christians Handle Opposing Views? 

9 Communication Issues in Marriage 

How to Deal With Negative People 


LCBC stands for Lives Changed By Christ. We are one church in multiple locations across Pennsylvania. Find the location closest to you or join us for Church Online. We can’t wait to connect with you! 

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