You feel like you're at a crossroads. You're reevaluating where you stand. Something just feels "off" and you can't figure out why.
Whether things have gone south with your boyfriend or girlfriend, one of your friends, or another person in your life, deciding when to walk away isn't easy. It's a choice you can second-guess over and over again. All the while, you keep feeling stuck and things keep feeling the way they do.
How do you know when it's time to break up?
Signs It's Time to Break Up
Here are 10 indicators you might need to walk away from a relationship:
1. You're Getting Mixed Messages
If you find yourself receiving inconsistent and unpredictable signals, it might be time to reassess. Close relationships should be a reliable source of clarity and honesty—not confusion.
2. Your Boundaries Are Pushed
God calls us to honor our bodies and maintain emotional purity (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). If someone is emotional or physical boundaries that make you uncomfortable or compromise your values, it could be time to set a firmer boundary and remove yourself from the relationship.
3. You’re Growing Apart
It’s natural for people to evolve and grow. In healthy relationships, people still grow together, even if they're growing differently. But if it feels more like you're growing apart, it’s important to evaluate what you want your relationship to look like, and if your trajectories still align.
4. They Need Help but Won't Seek It
God calls us to seeks counsel and wisdom from others (Proverbs 11:14)—but it isn't sustainable to always feel like you need to play the role of "therapist." If someone is constantly leaning on you to solve their problems when what they may really need is a professional—or if they shut you out of their problems entirely—you might be in over your head. You can't help someone heal if they don't really want it, and your well-being is just as important as theirs.
5. They're Manipulating Your Emotions
Relationships should be based on mutual respect and kindness. If someone is controlling, or if they make you doubt your own memory or feelings, it's time to get out—before things escalate to an even more dangerous situation.
If someone in your life is making you feel unsafe, or if walking away feels dangerous, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Your safety is your top priority.
6. Your Values Are Misaligned
People are different—it's one of the things that makes relationships so enriching. Plus, getting to know someone with different core values can help you understand others, empathize with their lived experience, and be an encouraging presence in their life. While it can be a great thing to have close connections with people who share different beliefs and values, the Bible encourages us to be on the same page with our partners (2 Corinthians 6:14) when we're considering a long-term commitment like marriage.
7. Being Around Them Makes You Feel Worse—Not Better
A healthy relationship should bring joy and peace into your life. If you consistently feel drained, frustrated, or hurt when you say "goodbye," It might be time to scale back the amount of time you spend together—or walk away entirely.
8. They Don't Respect Your Faith
It can be incredibly valuable to have close friendships with people of different faith backgrounds. There's a lot to learn about each other, and proximity increases empathy and understanding. But certain relationships need faith to be not just a commonality—but a shared priority. If you're a follower of Jesus and you're considering marriage, your future spouse should be someone who can inspire, challenge, and encourage your faith.
9. You're Constantly Arguing
Disagreements are inevitable. Healthy conflict can bring people closer, but constant fighting can take a toll on your emotional well-being. God wants us to live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16), and if your relationship is marked by non-stop tension, you might need to step back.
10. You've Already Thought About Breaking Up
If you've already been wrestling with the question of whether or not to end a relationship, there's probably a reason. Don't make the decision in isolation—talk to someone you trust, and talk about it with God. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us not to rely on our own understanding—and with a big decision like this, the best you can do is seek input from trustworthy sources.
Is It Time to Break Up?
God's plan for your life includes relationships that bring you closer to him and help you grow in faith and love. When navigating a breakup, be sure to include God in the conversation and seek his wisdom for the steps you should take. If it's time to break up, make sure you're taking steps to care for your mental health—and remember, your pain is temporary, but God offers plenty of encouragement for what you're facing.
For more resources on dating and healthy relationships, check out: