People often talk about shame and guilt as if they鈥檙e interchangeable鈥攂ut are they? While they鈥檙e closely related, they can show up in different ways depending on what we鈥檝e done, how often we鈥檝e done it, and how we respond when we know we鈥檝e done something wrong.
Shame and guilt both arise when we recognize that something we鈥檝e done is wrong. But they don鈥檛 always lead to the same outcome. Sometimes they push us further from God, and sometimes they draw us closer to him. Understanding the difference between shame and guilt can help us respond to both in a healthy, God-honoring way.
Guilt and shame both signal that something is wrong
Guilt is that internal alarm system that sounds when we鈥檝e done something we know we shouldn鈥檛. It may show up after a single mistake or poor decision.
Shame often surfaces when we鈥檝e done something that feels especially serious or repeated鈥攕omething so damaging or embarrassing that we feel the need to hide it.
We see this dynamic play out in the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15. After demanding his inheritance and wasting it all, the son feels the weight of his actions and returns home saying, "I am no longer worthy of being called your son." His guilt was valid, and his shame was honest. But what mattered most was how he responded. He didn鈥檛 run further away鈥攈e turned back to his father.
Recognizing our unworthiness is actually the beginning of grace
The Bible doesn鈥檛 shy away from the truth about our condition. In Psalm 51:5, David writes, "For I was born a sinner鈥攜es, from the moment my mother conceived me." Romans 3:10-12 echoes this: "No one is righteous鈥攏ot even one... All have turned away."
We are sinful by nature. But because of Jesus, it doesn鈥檛 have to define us. Admitting our unworthiness doesn鈥檛 push us away from God鈥攊t opens the door for his mercy. As Romans 5:8 reminds us, "God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners."
Shame and guilt can both motivate鈥攐r destroy
Shame and guilt don鈥檛 necessarily shape our future, but what we do about it does. When we feel the weight of our sin, we can respond in one of two ways:
- We reject God in an attempt to avoid the discomfort. We believe we鈥檙e too far gone, or we convince ourselves we don鈥檛 need his standards or his grace.
- We run to God in faith, believing he鈥檚 the only one who can forgive us and make us whole.
2 Corinthians 7:10 puts it this way: "For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation... But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death."
Godly sorrow鈥攚hether it feels like guilt or shame鈥攄raws us back to him. Worldly sorrow leads us to hide or to harden our hearts.
We don鈥檛 deserve forgiveness, but God offers it anyway!
One of the challenges of talking about shame is the word "worthy." In today鈥檚 language, we often use "worthy" to mean "having worth"鈥攂ut in the Bible, it almost always means to earn something. And the truth is, we can鈥檛 earn God鈥檚 forgiveness.
But that鈥檚 the beauty of the Good News of Jesus: we don't deserve forgiveness or salvation, but because of Jesus, it鈥檚 available to us anyway. As 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness."
Shame vs. Guilt: is there a difference?
Yes and no. Shame and guilt often go hand in hand. Shame may feel deeper or heavier, but both point to the reality that something is broken between us and God.
The difference isn鈥檛 always in how they make us feel, but what they produce in us. Do they lead us to repentance, or to hiding? Do they turn us inward, or toward the grace of God?
If you鈥檙e experiencing guilt or shame today, don鈥檛 let it isolate you. Let it lead you back to the Father鈥攖he one who runs to meet you while you鈥檙e still a long way off!
-----
It may feel pointless to confess our sins to God. After all, he already knows what we鈥檝e done. But there鈥檚 a surprising benefit to confession that you may not be thinking of.
-----
LCBC stands for Lives Changed By Christ. We are one church in multiple locations across Pennsylvania. Find the location closest to you or join us for Church Online. We can鈥檛 wait to connect with you!