Communication is the backbone of any strong and lasting relationship. Meaningful conversations can deepen your connection, increase understanding, and promote intimacy. When you take the time to talk about important topics, you not only learn more about each other but also create opportunities to grow together.
Want to figure out if your relationship is built to last? These conversations will help you figure it out. A lot of these topics are especially crucial before engagement or marriage, as they’ll help you determine your shared vision for the future, and where things might be different.
10 things to talk about with your boyfriend or girlfriend
1. Your values and beliefs
Amos 3:3 raises this question: "Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?" Sharing your personal values and what matters most to you in life is essential for building a strong foundation. Whether it's faith, family, career, or personal principles, understanding each other's core beliefs helps align your priorities. Aligned values lead to unity, especially in the long term.
Questions to ask:
- What really matters most to you in life?
- How does your faith influence your decisions?
- What principles guide you when making important choices?
2. Your childhood and family
Talking about childhood memories and family dynamics can reveal a lot about who you are and how you grew up. It’s a great way to understand each other's background and personality. Understanding family influences can give insight into core values and potential dynamics in a future family.
Questions to ask:
- What was your family dynamic like growing up?
- What’s one funny memory from your childhood?
- How did your upbringing shape who you are today?
3. Your dreams, hopes, and future goals
Understanding each other's dreams and ambitions is crucial for long-term compatibility. Sharing your vision for the future—both individually and together—can help you support each other’s growth. Talking about these things early on ensures you're aligned for the future.
Questions to ask:
- Where do you see yourself in five years?
- What are some goals you’re passionate about achieving?
- How can we support each other’s dreams?
4. Talk about your relationship and how to strengthen it
Openly discussing your relationship—what’s working well and what could be improved—fosters growth and understanding. It’s important to keep the lines of communication open and address any concerns with love and honesty.
Questions to ask:
- What do you appreciate most about our relationship?
- How can I make you feel more supported?
- Is there anything we can work on together to grow stronger?
5. Talk about fun stuff!
Not everything has to be serious! Fun and lighthearted conversations allow you to bond over shared interests and enjoy each other’s company. Building joy in your relationship matters.
Questions to ask:
- What’s your favorite movie or TV show?
- If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?
- What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
6. Your fears and vulnerabilities
Opening up about your fears and insecurities creates deeper intimacy. Being vulnerable with each other helps build trust and emotional connection. Galatians 6:2 encourages us to "Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ."
Questions to ask:
- What are some of your biggest fears?
- Is there anything that’s been weighing on you lately?
- How can I support you when you’re feeling anxious?
7. Spirituality and faith
As followers of Jesus, spirituality and faith are central to a lasting marriage. If you’re serious about taking your commitment to the next level, talking about your spiritual journey and how your faith shapes your decisions is a must!
Questions to ask:
- What Bible verse has impacted you lately?
- What was your life like before you started following Jesus?
8. Your seasons of challenge and growth
Being there for each other through life’s challenges is important. Discussing the challenges you’ve been through and what God’s taught you about yourself along the way can teach you both more about each other and how to support one another during challenging seasons.
Questions to ask:
- What’s a challenge that impacted who you are today?
- What makes you feel supported when times get tough?
- Are you facing any challenges right now?
9. What makes you feel loved
Understanding how each of you expresses and receives love is key to a fulfilling relationship. Knowing your love languages helps you connect better.
Questions to ask:
- What’s your love language?
- How can I show you love in a way that feels meaningful to you?
- Are there specific things I do that make you feel appreciated?
10. Your vision for a future family
Do you want to have or adopt children? Do you picture living close to family or moving somewhere new? Do you hope to have pets? Questions like these about the future can’t be ignored.
Questions to ask:
- Do you want to be a parent someday?
- Do you picture yourself living in the city, the suburbs, or the country?
- Have you thought about adopting a child someday?
Don’t skip these key conversations
A couple doesn’t need to have everything in common to build a lasting relationship, but conversations like these are still important. Identifying the values that are most important to each of you helps you determine how you can support and commit to one another in the long run.
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What happens if you disagree on any of these points? Here’s what to do and what not to do in a disagreement.
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LCBC stands for Lives Changed By Christ. We are one church in multiple locations across Pennsylvania. Find the location closest to you or join us for Church Online. We can’t wait to connect with you!