God did not design people to live in isolation. We were created for relationships, both with God and with each other.
Community has been part of God’s design from the beginning. When he made the first human, Adam, God looked at him and said “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18).
Despite this hard-wired need for connection and community, we tend to keep parts of ourselves hidden. We shy away from sharing our struggles because we don’t want to be a burden. We avoid asking for help because we don’t want to inconvenience others.
But the struggles we try to keep inside don’t stay there. Even if you think you’re keeping things under wraps, your hidden suffering has a way of bubbling to the surface. It can affect the emotional climate of your home, your family, and your friendships. It’s supposed to be that way—because God designed us to need support from our people, not to try to shoulder our burdens alone. But the longer we go without seeking out healing and support, the more it can wear down our most important relationships.
Why Unaddressed Pain Never Stays Contained
One of the first results of sin in Scripture was hiding. After Adam and Eve knowingly disobeyed God, they didn’t come clean—they hid from him because they were ashamed.
We may never know how different things could have turned out for humanity if Adam and Eve had confessed what they’d done and apologized right away, but we can learn a valuable lesson from their experience: Shame pushes us into isolation, and isolation always makes our wounds deeper.
Most people don’t avoid sharing their problems because they don’t care. They avoid it because they believe they’re protecting others. How many times have you found yourself thinking, “I’ll deal with it alone,” “I don’t want to burden anyone,” or “I just need to push through”? That’s exactly the kind of mindset that ends up doing more harm than good.
But pain that isn’t properly dealt with doesn’t just go away—it leaks out. It often shows up as irritability, emotional distance, control, anger, or withdrawal. And the people closest to us often feel it first.
Scripture warns us, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” (Proverbs 4:23). When the heart is overwhelmed or wounded, it shapes everything that flows out of us, whether we intend it to or not.
Hurt Spreads—But So Does Healing
When we’re hurting, that hurt spills over into other areas of our lives. But the same is true with healing. When we address our problems in an appropriate way and really begin to move forward, the atmosphere around us starts to change. We become more patient, calm, and gracious.
Finding healing from your pain is one of the most loving things you can do for the people God has placed in your life. Your spouse gets the most loving version of you. Your kids get the most attentive version of you. Your friends get the most thoughtful version of you. Your coworkers get the most positive version of you. The healing you might be invisible, but it shows up in ways the people will notice—even if they don’t know why.
How to Find Lasting Healing
The key to healing isn’t to pretend you’re okay. But simply being honest about your struggles is only one step toward healing. Your loved ones can’t support you if they don’t know what’s really going on—but they also can’t take on the role of therapist or healer.
That’s where God comes in. Only God is able to fully restore our souls. He gives us resources—like great friends, trained professionals, and the comfort and guidance of his Spirit—to help move us from suffering in silence to thriving in healing. Here are some ways you can lean into God and utilize the resources he’s given you:
Name What You’re Avoiding
There’s a saying in the mental health community: “Name it and claim it.” You can’t heal until you know what you need to heal from. It may be hard, and you may feel some uncomfortable feelings, but take some time to sit with your feelings. Ask yourself what you’ve been feeling, why you’ve been feeling that way, and what might help. Write down the thoughts and feelings that bubble to the surface.
Bring Your Struggles to God
God wants to know about your pain because he wants to help you with it. The Psalms are filled with people who loved God deeply and still cried out in pain. Psalm 34:18 reminds us that “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” When you share your problems with God, he’s faithful to step in, provide, and lead you toward healing.
Let Someone Else In
God created us for community, and sometimes one of the best steps we can take when we’re suffering is talking to someone who is uniquely equipped to help. While it’s great to talk to friends and family, we can’t expect them to offer unbiased, objective support like a pastor or counselor can. If you’d like to connect with a professional, let us know—we can help you find a pastor or counselor to talk to.
Stop Hiding & Start Healing
You were never meant to carry your pain alone—and you were never meant to keep it from the people who share life with you. When you choose honesty over hiding, dependence on God over control, and community over isolation, you’ll find more than just your heart restored—you'll find the space around you restored, too.
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LCBC stands for Lives Changed By Christ. We are one church in multiple locations across Pennsylvania. Find the location closest to you or join us for Church Online. We can’t wait to connect with you!