Most of us don't think of ourselves as liars. But if we're honest, small lies slip into everyday life more often than we'd like to admit. We say “I’m fine” when we aren’t. We say “I’m five minutes away” when we haven’t left the couch.
Most people would agree the big lies are harmful. An affair, a hidden addiction, or a secret pile of debt can blow up a relationship overnight. But the small, seemingly harmless fibs can do just as much damage. They just take longer. Each one feels minor on its own, but over time they wear down trust, build distance, and train us to reach for a lie whenever the truth feels inconvenient. The damage usually isn't loud or immediate—and by the time it's obvious, the relationship is already hurting.
So is lying really a big deal? Here's what the Bible says.
What Does the Bible Say About Lying?
1. Lying Goes Against Who God Is
Honesty isn't just a good rule. It's rooted in God's character.
"God is not a man, so he does not lie." Numbers 23:19
Jesus went even further, describing himself this way: "I am the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14:6).
God doesn't just tell the truth. He is truth. That means when we choose honesty, we're reflecting God’s nature. And when we choose to lie, even in small ways, we're moving away from who he is and the way he designed us to live.
2. God Takes Lying Seriously
It's easy to rank lies on a scale from "no big deal" to "unforgivable." But the Bible doesn't treat dishonesty as a minor issue. It's one of the Ten Commandments: "You must not testify falsely against your neighbor" (Exodus 20:16).
And Proverbs puts it bluntly: "The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth" (Proverbs 12:22).
A “lying tongue” even makes the short list of things God hates in Proverbs 6:16–19, right alongside violence and plotting evil. That's not because God wants to make us feel guilty. It's because he knows what lies do to us and to the people we love.
3. Lies Break the Trust Relationships Depend On
Every lie, even a small one, chips away at the trust relationships run on. When your spouse, friend, or family member tells you something, you assume it's true. That assumption is what makes you feel safe and close with them.
"So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body." Ephesians 4:25
The point of this verse is that we belong to each other. When one person deceives another, it doesn't just affect them. It affects the whole relationship.
And this is why small lies are still harmful. Jesus said, "If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won't be honest with greater responsibilities" (Luke 16:10). The little fibs we tell aren't really little. They pile up and shape who we become and how much the people around us can trust us.
And once trust is broken, rebuilding it takes far longer than it took to tell the lie in the first place.
4. Hidden Things Don't Stay Hidden
Secrets have a way of coming out. But even if a secret never comes to light, it almost always comes with a cost. King David described what it felt like to hide his sin: "When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long" (Psalm 32:3).
Hiding is exhausting. It creates distance between us and the people we love, and between us and God. It's been our instinct since the very beginning. After the first sin in Genesis 3, the first thing Adam and Eve did was hide.
The good news is that honesty opens the door to something better. Proverbs 28:13 says, "people who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy." In other words, when we bring what's hidden into the light, God meets us with forgiveness, not condemnation.
"If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness" (1 John 1:9)
5. Not Every Secret Is a Lie
Keeping a surprise, respecting someone's privacy, or protecting a friend's confidence isn't the same as deception. In fact, the Bible praises people who can keep the right secrets for the right reasons: "A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence" (Proverbs 11:13).
There's a difference between privacy and secrecy. Privacy recognizes that not everything needs to be shared with everyone. Secrecy hides something the other person has a right to know.
If you're not sure which one you're dealing with, ask yourself a few questions:
- Who is this protecting? Is it for their good, or am I protecting myself?
- Will they be glad when they find out? A surprise party ends with joy. A hidden purchase usually doesn't.
- Is it temporary? Or am I planning to keep this hidden forever?
- Am I trying to control the narrative so I can avoid consequences?
If your honest answers point more to your benefit than theirs, that’s a warning sign that your intentions may not be in the right place.
6. How You Tell the Truth Matters
Choosing your words carefully isn’t lying—and saying every unfiltered thought the moment you have it isn’t honesty. The heart of the matter is your intent. Are you trying to preserve the relationship, or are you avoiding an uncomfortable conversation? Are you speaking the truth, or are you looking for an excuse to be careless with your words?
"Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ." Ephesians 4:15 NLT
"Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone." Colossians 4:6 NLT
Say a friend asks what you think of their new haircut, and it's not your favorite. You don't have to lie, and you don't have to be brutal. You can point out what you genuinely like, or be honest in a way that's kind. The goal isn't to avoid the truth. It's to deliver it in a way that helps.
And sometimes the loving thing is the hard thing—but like Proverbs 27:6 advises, "wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy." Real friends tell each other the truth, even when it stings.
Honesty Builds Relationships That Last
At the end of the day, telling the truth and avoiding lies isn't just about following a rule. It's about being someone people know they can trust—and knowing you can trust them, too. That’s what relationships are built on, and what makes them last.
So here's a next step: Think of one relationship where you've been stretching the truth, even in small ways. What would it look like to be a little more honest this week? Is there something you’ve been avoiding that you need to own up to? Is it time to respond to “How are you?” with a more authentic answer?
Lying might be easy to hide sometimes, but the damage it causes isn’t. The good news is that truth, spoken with love, has the power to heal what lies have damaged.
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LCBC stands for Lives Changed By Christ. We are one church in multiple locations across Pennsylvania. Find the location closest to you or join us for Church Online. We can’t wait to connect with you!