We don’t like to admit it out loud, but most of us have moments when life doesn’t line up with what we hope for. A door we begged God to open stays shut. A relationship ends when we thought it would heal. A diagnosis comes back with news we can’t even process. It feels like your prayers are going unanswered, and somewhere inside, a quiet, unsettling question forms: Is it wrong to feel disappointed in God?
Let’s talk about it honestly—because God can handle it.
Yes, It’s Okay to Feel Disappointed
God created us to be emotional beings. That means anything you feel—joy, anger, frustration—God wrote the manual on. More than that, he expects you to feel these things at some point in your life or another. Our disappointment doesn’t come as a surprise to him.
That also means he doesn’t ask you to downplay or mask negative feelings like disappointment when things feel out of control. Instead, he wants you to be honest about them. How do we know? Because the Bible is full of people who loved God deeply and still felt disappointed, confused, or let down by what he allowed in their lives.
David
David, the King of Israel, wrote much of the book of Psalms—a collection of songs and poems in the Old Testament of the Bible. In many of these Psalms, he pours out raw emotion to God, asking questions like, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” (Psalm 13:1).
But instead of punishing David for uttering words like these, God called him “a man after his own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14). God didn’t count David’s honesty about his lowest feelings against him—he cared more about how he called out to God and invited him into the struggle.
Job
Imagine losing everything: your home, your spouse, your children, your most prized possessions. Now imagine it happening all at once. This happened to Job, and his reaction was as raw and honest as you’d expect. He cried out to God in deep confusion and despair: “I will not keep silent. I must express my anguish” (Job 7:11).
God didn’t shame Job for that honesty. In fact, by the end of the book, we read that God restores Job’s fortune, grows his family, and grants him a long life. (This doesn’t mean that expressing our anger to God gets us what we want, but it does show us that God can be trusted with the outcome of our struggles.)
Jeremiah
Jeremiah was actually known as the “weeping prophet” in the Bible. He openly wrestled with God’s plan, and specifically his frustration with it. He said, “I cried out to you for help, but you did not answer” (Lamentations 3:8).
Perhaps you know what it’s like to feel ignored by God. Jeremiah did! And his story shows that we aren’t alone in feeling frustrated with God at times. God shows us stories like these to help normalize feelings of disappointment—and to encourage us to bring them to him.
Each of these people trusted God enough to bring him their uncensored feelings. Their stories remind us that disappointment isn’t a sin. It’s part of being human. God meets us in our disappointment with compassion, not condemnation.
But Don’t Stay There
Feeling disappointed is normal, but if we stay in disappointment long enough, something starts to grow beneath the surface. The Bible calls it a root of bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 warns, “Watch out…that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you.”
Bitterness doesn’t show up overnight. It starts small —a lingering resentment, a growing frustration that God didn’t come through for you. But if you let that root grow, it takes over everything. It steals your joy while also distorting how you see God, and the people around you.
How Do I Let Go of Disappointment?
Instead of ignoring disappointment, God invites us to bring it to him so it doesn’t take us captive. We’re not meant to camp out in disappointment. We’re meant to walk through it with him so he can help us let it go.
But releasing disappointment isn’t a quick or easy process. It’s the result of small, intentional steps that help to open our hearts again:
- Get honest with God about your disappointment. You don’t have to hide anything from God. Honesty is often the clearest path to healing. God already knows where you are, he just wants to walk through it with you.
- Recognize that God may be working out a bigger story than you can see in the moment. So much of God’s work happens behind the scenes, and what might feel like a detour or a delay could actually be preparation. Remember that God sees the bigger picture beyond your immediate circumstances.
- Reflect on how you’ve seen God’s faithfulness before. God doesn’t change—and if he’s been faithful in the past, he’ll be faithful in your future, too. Taking some time to write down or think about the prayers God has answered for you (and thanking him for it!) can re-center your heart on what you know is true about him and refresh your faith in your present circumstances.
- Don’t go it alone. You don’t need to suffer in silence. Let trustworthy friends or mentors into your struggle. Share honestly with them about what you’re feeling and invite them to pray for you and share wisdom and encouragement.
- Help yourself by helping others. When disappointment hits, a little healthy distraction can help—but not numbing or escape. Instead, shift your focus to being a source of encouragement in someone else’s struggle. Even small acts of kindness can lift others’ spirits—and in the process, God often lifts yours too. Turning toward someone else’s pain reminds us that God is still comforting and still writing a bigger story than we can see.
Don’t Let Disappointment Derail Your Faith
You don’t have to disappointment be the thing that destroys your relationship with God. Instead, bringing it to him can be the thing that deepens your faith and helps you see even more clearly how he works in your life. Hang in there and trust that he will answer your prayers in his own way and in his own time! He is always working things out for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28).
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“What if God doesn’t answer my prayers?” We talk about this question—and how to handle frustration and disappointment—in this episode of the Live Changed Podcast.
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LCBC stands for Lives Changed By Christ. We are one church in multiple locations across Pennsylvania. Find the location closest to you or join us for Church Online. We can’t wait to connect with you!