We’ve all made choices we later regretted—moments we’d love to take back. Sometimes it’s something small, like eating that extra slice of cake when we were already full. We can live with those. But what about life’s heavier, more painful regrets—the ones that cause lasting hurt to us or others?
Regret is a universal human experience that stems from longing for a different outcome or wishing we had made a different choice. As painful as some regrets feel, we can rely on what the Bible says about it and how it can lead to healing, growth, ultimately bringing us closer to God.
Is Regret a Sin?
First, it’s important to distinguish between two closely related—but different—feelings: guilt and regret. Regret is a response to a past decision we wish we hadn’t made. Guilt is often caused by regret, a sense of moral wrongdoing.
Regret itself isn’t always sinful, but it can signal a need for reflection and change. The Bible doesn’t label regret as a sin—after all, it’s a natural human emotion. What truly matters is how we respond to it. Handled well, regret can lead us toward growth and freedom. Handled poorly, it can push us toward unhealthy or even sinful choices.
What Does the Bible Say About Regret?
The Bible tells us about many people who wrestled with regret. Some allowed it to draw them toward repentance and restoration, while others let themselves spiral into deeper pain and loss. Their stories offer us both encouragement and caution.
- King Saul was disobedient to God, and instead of owning up to his mistakes he pushed the blame onto others. He was more concerned with keeping up appearances than genuine repentance. (Samuel 15:10-23)
- Judas Iscariot famously betrayed Jesus before he was crucified. Instead of seeking repentance and God’s grace, Judas allowed the heaviness of regret to drive him deeper into despair. He tragically took his own life. (Matthew 27:3-5)
- The Disciple Peter denied knowing Jesus 3 separate times, right when Jesus needed him most. The weight of that choice hit Peter immediately, and his genuine sorrow drove him to repentance—ultimately restoring his relationship with God and his calling as a follower of Jesus. (Luke 22:61-62)
- King David made one mistake that led to a disastrous outcome: he slept with another man’s wife, got her pregnant, and had the husband sent to the front lines of battle to be killed so he’d never find out. When confronted with the reality of his actions, David didn’t make excuses—he acknowledged his mistakes with humility. In response, God forgave and redeemed David. (2 Samuel 11, Psalm 51)
While regret often pushes us toward repentance, Romans 2:4 reveals God’s deeper motive: it is his kindness that leads us there. We are safe in his presence, welcomed back with open arms when we turn toward him.
Regret vs. Repentance – Is There a Difference?
To repent is to turn away from sin and turn back to God, beginning with a sincere heart that seeks his forgiveness. Regret can be a starting point for repentance, but it only becomes repentance when it’s followed by a change of heart and direction. True repentance acknowledges sin, rejects it, and actively seeks God’s forgiveness and mercy.
In 2 Corinthians 7:9-10, Paul draws a clear line between two kinds of sorrow: godly sorrow and worldly sorrow:
“For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.”
Godly sorrow leads to repentance and ultimately to healing. Worldly sorrow traps us in shame and can lead us deeper into brokenness. God calls us to genuine repentance because his desire is to forgive, restore, and draw us closer to him.
How Does the Bible Teach Us to Handle Regret?
- Talk to God about the regret you’re feeling. Psalm 51 reminds us that God will not reject a repentant heart. We can bring our regrets before God in prayer (1 John 1:9). God is faithful to forgive!
- Trust in God’s grace. God does not define us by our past mistakes, and neither should we. God’s grace covers our failures and regrets (Romans 8:1). His love covers our sin.
- Learn from past mistakes. Regret can serve as a powerful teacher. When we reflect on our choices, we can grow in wisdom and avoid making the same mistakes in the future (James 1:5).
- Focus on the present and future. It’s a natural tendency to beat ourselves up over past mistakes. The Bible encourages us not to dwell on the past but to press forward in our relationship with God (Philippians 3:13-14). Have confidence that Jesus paid the price for your sin and move forward in his love for you.
- Thank God for his goodness. A grateful heart toward God helps us remember he is our good Father, and his love for us never fails. (Psalm 107:1)
The Circle of Forgiveness – Victory over Regret
Think of forgiveness like a circle — flowing from God to us, and then from us to others, sometimes even looping back as we seek forgiveness ourselves. We receive grace, and we extend grace. We are set free, and we help set others free.
Forgiving Ourselves
Once we have received God’s forgiveness, we are free to move forward with confidence, striving to live more like Jesus. Holding on to regret and self-condemnation can distort our view of his grace and keep us stuck in the past. Jesus paid the ultimate price on the cross, and that is enough.
Seeking Forgiveness from Others
When our regretful actions have hurt other people, , God may be leading you to seek their forgiveness as well. We can’t control whether or not someone will forgive us, but we should still seek their forgiveness as a next step after knowing we’ve received God’s.
Extending Forgiveness to Others
Likewise, there will be times when we’re the ones who need to extend forgiveness. Whether or not they express regret, God’s Word is clear: since we have been forgiven, we are called to forgive (Matthew 6:14–15).
Forgiving someone doesn't mean excusing their behavior or pretending the damage didn’t happen but it helps us release ourselves from the prison of resentment and step fully into the freedom of God’s grace.
When we only receive forgiveness but never give it, or when we give it but never receive it, the circle is broken. God’s design is for forgiveness to keep moving — healing hearts, restoring relationships, and reflecting his love in every direction. Receiving God’s forgiveness frees us from the bondage of regret, and extending forgiveness frees us from the bondage of resentment.
Finding Hope and Healing in God’s Word
God doesn’t want regret to destroy us—he wants it to be used for our good. He allows us to feel regret for the purpose of leading us back to him. God can use regret for our growth and to deepen our dependence on him (Romans 8:28).
When we’re deep in the despair of regret, it’s God’s kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). There’s no greater love than Jesus laying down his life for us (John 3:16). No matter how deep our regret is, God’s love is greater. It’s unconditional—it isn’t dependent on how clean our record is (Romans 8:38-39).
Not only is God’s love greater, but his love is also powerful—it can change us from the inside out. His forgiveness makes us a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). We can step into the present and with hope for the future knowing that God has forgiven our sins and is working in our lives.
No matter what regret you carry today, know that you can lay it down before God—he's ready to relieve your burden and invite you into healing and hope.
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